Patti LuPone Shaming Merch Is Broadway’s Hot New Look

This is the new line of props that no self-respecting theater kid can do without.

TodayTix, the live theater-focused mobile ticketing app, has a few new additions to its online gift shop. A button at the top of their homepage encourages visitors to “Shop Patti LuPone Merch’, but you won’t find posters of the original Broadway series Avoided or CDs of Heat wave: Patti LuPone sings Irving Berlin. Instead, there’s a celebration of a much more recent triumph.

As we reported earlier this week, the two-time Tony winner went to war with an audience member who didn’t wear her mask properly during a Stephen Sondheim post-show chat. Companyin which LuPone co-stars with Katrina Lenk.

“That’s the rule,” the 73-year-old Long Island-born legend reminded the wandering theatergoer. “If you don’t want to follow the rule, get the hell out!”

While LuPone’s statement (and the “Who do you think you are?!?” rhetoric) Gypsy and Norma Desmond in sunset boulevard didn’t have it. “We pay your salary!” she dared (dared!) to suggest.

“You pay my salary? Bullshit!” LuPone fired back.”Chris Harper pays my salary,” she said, naming one of the best producers in the Company the comeback.

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It’s unlikely the London-based producer ever dreamed he’d become a meme, but that’s what happens when Patti LuPone shouts your name at unsophisticated rubes who act rudely at the-a-ter. As such, a “Chris Harper pays my salary” t-shirt, sweatshirt, mug or (of course) mask can now be purchased from the TodayTix store.

The collection also includes derivative products with the line “WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?” dated 2009 (see below on that) and 2022. Also, tote bags with “the full rant”. (We quibble a bit, though, in calling it a rant. A righteous reprimand is more like that!)

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